Random Top 10: Sonny With a Chance Moments

With the recent news that Demi Lovato is leaving Sonny With a Chance to focus on her music career, I think it's time to bid a proper adieu to the beloved Disney show. The show had already announced that it was changing names (So Random!) and formats (sketch comedy), but Demi leaving is the final nail in the coffin. No one watches the show for the sketches, and without Demi, the show will be missing a vital ingredient that made it a success in the first place. Sterling Knight and Tiffany Thornton will have no one to bounce their insanity off of and it will be a total mess. But instead of dwelling on the negative, I want to celebrate this fabulous show. Sonny With a Chance proved to me that Disney shows could be as legit as network TV and got me watching Wizards of Waverly Place another amazing "kiddie" show. Their epic first season should have nabbed a few Emmys, while the second season, although not as strong overall, showed at least once an episode that the show was just as cutting edge as it was in the past. I will miss this show dearly. Let's take this opportunity to honor some of the best moments the show has given us as a way of saying thank you to Demi, Tiffany, Sterling and company for two seasons of pure joy.

10. The Real Princesses of New Jersey sketch on "So Random Holiday"

"Hey, yo, I walked the five feet to the front door so how 'bout a lil' somethin'-somethin' for your Prince Carmine, ya know what I'm sayin'?"

As a general rule, the sketches on So Random!, the show-within-a-show on Sonny With a Chance, are flat and uninspired, an opportunity for lowbrow humor before we get to the real show. But during a special holiday-themed episode filled with So Random! sketches this past season, this gem emerged. The ladies had previously done this sketch earlier in the season, and it turned out surprisingly well, but adding Sterling Knight as a guido Prince Charming proved to be the missing ingredient that pushed this sketch over the top. How can you not immediately love a sketch that features the SWAC cast parodying Jersey Shore, Demi/Sonny screeching "What am I, an animal?!" or a casual reference to Bruce Springsteen's Thunder Road? Springsteen! On a Disney show! Imagine that.

09. Chad and Tawni's Conversation in "With a Chance of Dating"

Sterling and Tiffany were rarely afforded the chance to work together, but whenever they did, they immediately clicked. My favorite moment between them is when they are discussing Sonny's upcoming date with a former flame of Tawni's, mainly because of this awesome exchange:

 

Chad: Why do you want him to back off?

Tawni: Why are you wearing a bib?
Chad: Jealous?

Tawni: I have my own bib!

08. 'High School Miserable'

One of the reasons I loved Sonny With a Chance so much was because of its fearless ability to comment on the conventions of tweenage celebrity and the culture that goes with it. Sonny With a Chance couldn't exist without the Disney Channel and its never ending parade of stars, shows and movies. In this episode, the cast has been fired from So Random! and are forced to go to a public high school. Accustomed to the life of Disney celebrity, the gang (minus Sonny) have no idea how to function in a normal high school setting. When they are rejected by everyone in the school, they start expressing their feelings through song. An onlooker asks Sonny what they are doing. She, shaking her head, says, "Apparently the only high school they know is the musical one." Begrudgingly, Sonny leads a choreographed number straight out of High School Musical. Instead of joining in on the routine, however, the rest of the cafeteria starts booing while throwing their trash at them. The delicious joke at the end which makes this sequence a hilarious send off to Disney's biggest hit: Sonny telling her booing classmates, "Seriously, guys? We just made all of that up!"

07. "Eat carbs, you animals!"

Tiffany Thornton has had many, many wonderful moments as self-absorbed diva Tawni Hart, battling Sonny for the spotlight or indulging in her own vanity. There is this really great moment in the episode "Fast Friends" where Tawni steals the show by (momentarily) helping Sonny out. Sonny has just done an interview where, inadvertently, she goes all "diva crazy" on Chad. She goes to the cafeteria, hoping to get him to admit that it was all a misunderstanding, but is immediately pelted with food by angry people ("There she is. There's the monster!"). Sonny enlists Tawni to cover her while she goes to speak to Chad. Tawni starts throwing rolls at the angry people, shouting "Eat carbs, you animals!" It's a simple moment, but Thornton completely nails it.

06. Chad Being Chad in "Sonny and the Studio Brat"

Chad Dylan Cooper is a one-of-a-kind character and I still stand by my belief that Sterling Knight should have gotten at the very least an Emmy nomination for bringing this character to life. "Sonny and the Studio Brat" isn't his episode, per se, but he does steal scenes like a motherfucking criminal. Witness some of his finest moments right here:

Sonny: Chad, you're so superficial.

 Chad: All I hear when you say that is, "Chad, you're so super blah blah blah blah"

Sonny: I have the sweetest girl here and she really wants to meet you.

Chad: Ooooh, what's she look like?

Sonny: She's nine.

Chad: *hangs up*

 

"Oh daddy?!"

05. Gassie's Funeral

There was a moment in the first two and a half episodes of the second season of Sonny With a Chance where I thought the show had lost the spark that made it so great the first season. The third episode started off with a whimper--the farting dog from one of So Random!'s most popular sketches has suddenly past away thanks to Sonny giving the unloved dog too much attention--but ended with a massive bang that proved the show was just as biting as ever. Chad offers to throw a memorial for Gassie since Sonny is too distraught to do it. She wants a tasteful ceremony which is Chad's cue to throw an extravagant memorial complete with a choir and speeches from his co-stars. While Chad is directing the whole memorial and Tawni is turning her eulogy into yet another attempt to make everything about her, Nico and Grady are trying to make a buck selling useless farting lunchboxes as memorial souvenirs. Coming just 8 months after the death of Michael Jackson and the media circus surrounding his funeral that everyone, even members of his family, took advantage of for their own gain, this is a biting commentary on the state of celebrity deaths circa 2010 ("You saw him as nothing more than a tooting ATM.").

04. "WHY SO SERIOUS?"

Tawni, spending a couple of days without looking in the mirror, ends up looking like The Joker. It's a funny moment that proved that Sonny With a Chance, unlike some other Disney shows, isn't trapped in its own little world and can make suitable pop culture references with the best of them.

03. Sonny and Chad's Fake Date

"Now smile like you're having the time of your life."

From the moment Sonny and Chad first met, sparks flew and it was only a matter of time before they would become the biggest "will they or won't they?" couple in all of TV. It took a couple of episodes, but the Sonny With a Chance writers finally started letting them explore their feelings for each other in this episode by putting them together on a "fake" date to get revenge on a guy who done Sonny wrong. The date starts off with the typical banter that comes from putting Sonny and Chad in the same room ("If we're gonna hold hands, you have to switch sides...This is my hand-holding hand!") but slowly progresses to a point where they are "hypothetically" expressing their desire to date each other. Of course, their original mission interrupts any further attempt at exploring feelings, but it's still a total squee-worthy moment. Another reason this scene is amazing: I believe it's the first time we hear Chad's infamous sign-off "Peace out, suckas! Aaaah!"

02. Banning Zac Efron

"Because it's my wall. And I like saying I banned Zac Efron. There will come a day when Zac Efron comes knocking on that door and he's like, 'Hey, can I come in.' And I'll be like 'Oh no. You're banned."

 

The rivalry between tween heartthrob Chad Dylan Cooper and his more widely-popular foe Zac Efron made for some of the best in-jokes on the show, especially since Sterling Knight is friends with Efron in real life. CDC may be the greatest actor of his generation but the popularity of Efron is something he will always be trying to achieve.

01. "Battle of the Networks' Stars"

I'm choosing the entire episode because how can I be forced to single out one moment from the greatest episode the show ever created? "Battle of the Networks' Stars" is a brilliant synthesis of comedy for Disney's main demographic (children) and a more mature, meta commentary on these tween celebrities. The episode is about Chad directing a movie of his life. After trying to find suitable actors to portray the "losers from So Random!--no offense," Chad relents by allowing the real people play themselves. Except Sonny, that is, who is forced to audition for her role ("This is Sonny Munroe reading for the part of Sonny Munroe"). Before she's even finished, Chad has hired fellow Disney thespian Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato's best friend in real life at the time, to portray Sonny. Shenanigans ensue, which include Sonny calling Selena, in an obvious reference to her role on Wizards of Waverly Place, a "relationship wizard" when she calls Sonny out on liking Chad, and Selena mentioning that she was in a movie called Camp Hip-Hop, referring to Demi's breakout Disney movie. The episodes culminates in a scene on the set of Chad Dylan Cooper: The Chad Dylan Cooper Story. In a move straight out of Synecdoche, New York, Selena has hired Sonny as her "Sonny consultant" to help her get more into character. Mad at Chad, or attempting to hide her true feelings for him, she interrupts shooting a few times, reminding Selena that when Chad's "staring into your eyes, he's really staring at his reflection in your eyes." After calling him "the worst actor of our generation," Chad explodes and they erupt into the most passionately angry fight I've ever seen on a Disney show. I thought for sure they were going to jump each other.

Besides being a truly hilarious episode--even Nico, after spending time with lookalikes of himself and Grady who know how to get girls, gets a funny line: "Maybe they can teach us to be better versions of ourselves"--"Battle of the Networks' Stars" is a sly exploration of Sonny and Chad's relationship. Chad's movie recreates key moments in the Sonny and Chad relationship we've seen on Sonny With a Chance, but Chad has tweaked them so that Sonny has fallen in love with him. Is this simply an ego boost for Chad, a reminder that he can get any girl to fall in love with him, or is it wishful thinking on his part? And after Selena insists that Sonny has feelings for Chad, Sonny decides to don a cloak and wizard hat to become "relationship wizard" Selena, just as Selena has become Sonny. It's a great visual gag, and it does allow Chad to call Sonny "Scary Potter," but it's also a defense mechanism for Sonny. She becomes Selena as a way of distracting herself from the fact that what Selena said may be true. The fact that Sonny With a Chance chooses to portray the Sonny and Chad relationship in this manner is truly astounding; the fact that it does this while also being hilariously quotable is further proof that this was not just another Disney show.

"Oh, uh, don't worry, Tawni. You'll find someone."

"I've got to talk to you about something."

Chad: Is this about our date?

Sonny: Yes, I just...I think we need to call it off.

Chad: What, is this about me not telling you how things play out between Mac and Chloe?

Sonny: No, I seriously don't care about them or The Falls right now. I just...I think I rushed into something I didn't fully think through.

Chad: That hurts me, Sonny.

Sonny: I'm sorry.


Chad: How could you say you don't care about The Falls?

Sonny: Whoa, whoa, wait. What are you more upset about: the fact that I'm calling off our date or that I'm over The Falls?


Chad: [Pauses] That's a toughie.

Sonny: That's a toughie?

Chad: Well, if you date me, you date The Falls. So if you hurt one of us, you hurt us both.

Sonny: Oh my Gosh. I can't believe I was so close to going on a date with you. What was I thinking? Obviously I wasn't thinking...

Chad: Yeah, and ironically this is a drama free zone so...SECURITY!

Sonny: Let me tell you something, 24 hours ago I fell in love with a guy named Mackenzie and you, Chad, are no...


Chad: Don't say Mackenzie. DO NOT say Mackenzie.

Sonny: ...Mackenzie


Chad: That's it, she said it. Where's my security? You are no longer welcome at The Falls!


Sonny: You said Falls!

Top Performances of the Past TV Season

Last year around this time, I came up with a list of 25 of my favorite TV performances from that season. That post was a major hit, generating more comments than I usually get in a fortnight, so, of course, I'm doing another one to hopefully cash in on that popularity. This year, after expressing my continuing dissatisfaction with TV in general, I had to change this post up a lot in order to stay true with what really fascinated me this season. I expanded my definition of "performance" to include reality TV performance since, in its on way, those appearing in reality TV are doing their own version of "acting."

Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Liz Lemon was her usual wonderful Liz Lemon self this past season of 30 Rock, marching toward middle age still alone, bitter and as relatable as ever.

Joel McHale, Community
McHale's Jeff is the walking definition of a "dickweed," but it's all part of the roguish charm he casts over us and the other misfits in his study group at Greendale Community College.

Jane Lynch, Glee
By the end of the season, the show was an absolute chore to sit through. Lynch's omnipotent villain, Sue Sylvester, however, was always worth waiting through the shitty melodramatics and dumb karaoke numbers to discover. Her constant attempts to bring down the Glee club, often through manipulation, blackmail and out-and-out cheating (not to mention her many insults of Mr. Schu's hair) were always funny, even when the show refused to change anything up plot-wise. All in all, I love the way Sue sees it.

Keir Gilchrist, United States of Tara
While working through the facets of his sexuality on this season of Tara, Marshall, under the guidance of Keir Gilchrist, became quite possibly the most complex gay character on TV right now. If not, he's definitely a breath of fresh air from the usual drama queens and depressed souls we're usually assaulted with.

Snooki, Jersey Shore
From the moment this construction-cone-orange Oompa Loompa with a big ole pouf on her head arrived on the scene, my life has never been the same. At first, she looks like the typical Real World skank who drinks too much and then gets verbally abusive while looking for some penis. Somehow, over the course of Jersey Shore's brilliant first season, she became its heart and soul, the emotional core of the entire show. The moment when she is wrongly punched in the face by some random guido at the bar made this clear, as we all took this action as a call to arms to hunt that asshole down and punch him in the face. After that, however, Snooki became our favorite sexually promiscuous girl, constantly looking for her juicehead gorilla but always coming up with the short end of the stick. Oh, that Snooki, always looking for love but never quite finding it.

RuPaul, RuPaul's Drag Race
Not only was she damn fabulous every week--seriously, 99% of women never come close to looking as good as Ru on an off day--but she was an endearing and oh so lovable mama bear to all of the queen cubs, spouting words of wisdom like "Don't fuck it up!" or "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?" (my new personal mantra). And who can forget her line reading of "It's time to LIP SYNC....for your LIFE"?

The Cast of Wizards of Waverly Place [Selena Gomez, David Henrie, Jake T. Austin, Maria Canals-Barrera, David DeLuise, Jennifer Stone, Dan Benson]
The Russos are, without a doubt, the realest family on TV since the Millers on Still Standing. They lie, cheat, manipulate and cast spells to get what they want, but there's never any doubt that love is what bonds them together (or the fact that they have nowhere else to go). As far as acting goes, Gomez is a deliciously "dark" alternative to the typical Disney starlet. Henrie has a natural gift for comedy that makes his gay older brother a treat to watch. Austin does stupidity with intelligence. Canals-Barrera and DeLuise resist the urge to play broad as many adults on tween shows seem to do. Stone plays her character's eccentricities for endearment rather than cheap laughs. Bonus points for Dan Benson who plays Justin's best gal pal Zeke and his overwhelming dorkiness/homosexuality.

Sterling Knight, Tiffany Thornton and Demi Lovato, Sonny With a Chance
Whenever these three are involved in the main plot of an episode, you can rest assured that amazingness will ensue. I've already aired my complaints with the current season, but when these three are on (as in the celebrity funeral parody when Gassie, the farting dog, passes away), few actors their age, Disney or not, can match them.

Suze Orman, The Suze Orman Show
Since I started watching The Suze Orman Show a few months ago, I've come to the conclusion that Suze isn't merely a TV show host. Rather, she is a TV Personality with a capital "P." The way she calls everyone "girlfriend" or "boyfriend," the way she yells "DENIED!" at those who really can't afford whatever treasure they want on the Can I Afford It segment, even the way she gives one of her patented Suze Smackdowns betrays a woman who not only knows what the fuck she is talking about, but, also, a woman who knows how to make 401(k)'s and eight month emergency funds as entertaining as possible.

Becki Newton, Ugly Betty
TV's greatest fag hag since Grace Adler brought the funny every time she appeared on screen this season, even in the dire first half of the season where no one seemed to know what the fuck they were doing anymore. In the four years Ugly Betty has been on the air, she has gone from resident bitch to comedic genius. I can't wait to see what she can do on her new show this year.

Nicole Anderson and Chelsea Staub, JONAS
The Jonas Brothers may be the stars, but it's the women of JONAS who rule the show week in and week out. Staub, with her regality and no-holds-barred approach to her character, remains the mostly sweet, occasionally bitter heart of the show. Anderson, who could have become annoying five minutes in as the fanatic fangirl, constantly pushed herself to make the unremarkable material fresh and funny (I especially loved her breathless texting and site updating while on a date with Joe).

Team Griffin, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
They always bring the funny, but Kathy and her team (which consists of mother Maggie, assistant Tiffany and tour manager Tom) constantly had me in stitches on this past celebrity-filled season of My Life on the D-List. The show isn't "reality" anymore, if it ever really was, yet that doesn't really matter.

Kirstie Alley, Kirstie Alley's Big Life
I nearly peed my pants the moment when she started pulling that huge branch across the driveway live an ox plowing the field. What I thought would be a self-conscious and ungodly account of a woman who won't shut up about being fat was actually one of the most spirited riffs on reality television since My Life on the D-List. Bravo!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
In what has sadly become the final season of Old Christine, Louis-Dreyfus continued to bring the laughs as alcoholic, over-dramatic, loser mama Christine Campbell (who somehow makes Liz Lemon look like a winner). My favorite moment of hers was when she accidentally kidnapped a woman she used to torment in junior high when she wouldn't accept her apology. Only Louis-Dreyfus could make a plot as ridiculous as that work. This show will be missed.

Sterling Knight's New Disney Intro

True or false: this new Disney promo is in fact funnier than season two of Sonny With a Chance. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say true. Everything that made the first season so magical and original has been forgotten in favor of cheap jokes and lame storylines. Even the once electric Sonny/Chad chemistry has been reduced to maybe one short interaction an episode that barely sparks. What has happened to the couple that I literally thought was going to have angry sex at one point last season? I know there's one absolutely brilliant episode coming down the pike soon that, if done correctly, should redeem this mediocre season, but it is too soon for this show to be coasting until this big moment. Sonny With a Chance worked extremely hard last season to overcome any negative stereotypes the typical Disney shows has to deal with; I would hate to see them throw it away with eight or so middling episodes.

WHY SO SERIOUS?

The Tale of Sterling Knight & Zac Efron

Do you remember how on Sonny With a Chance Sterling Knight's Chad Dylan Cooper has this heated feud with Zac Efron over who is the greatest actor of his generation? Well, based on this interview clip from The Bonnie Hunt Show on Wednesday, that may have not been hard to fake on Mr. Knight's part:



Other talking points:
1. How amazing is Sterling Knight's hair? I much prefer this style over the traditional "Chad Dylan Cooper" look.
2. He is "miserably single." He may or may not be kidnapped in the near future. Just saying.
3. Bonnie Hunt better watch her back. Sterling is mine, bitch.

Happy (Belated) 3rd Anniversary, Rants of a Diva!

I always remember my blog's anniversary because it (coincidentally) occurs on Our Lord and Savior Oprah Winfrey's birthday. For some reason, I got my dates mixed up and it wasn't until I was on my way out to work for the day that I realized yesterday was, in fact, my blog's birthday. Oops! How careless of me.

Wow, three whole years. I can't even believe it. When I started Rants of a Diva one random night as a freshman college student, I never would have thought it would last more than a couple months. I guess I underestimated how much I really enjoy getting online and bitching about any random thing thing that comes to mind. To be honest, though, I don't think Rants of a Diva would still be around if it wasn't for friends and commenters alike who express appreciation and encourage debate on many of my inane postings. So, as I say every year, THANK YOU. Thanks for sticking around and continuing to make Rants of a Diva an interesting place to come back to day after day.

As I do every year, I like to offer up a summary of my best and favorite posts of the past year as a way of celebrating of the year's accomplishments and introducing any new readers to what Rants of a Diva is all about. Let's dig in, shall we?

Film Rants
The Razor's Edge
If you ever want to find yourself attacked by random people on the interweb all you have to do is insult Tyrone Power and the vultures will come. Learned that one the hard way.

The History Boys
So much potential--namely from Stephen Campbell Moore and Dominic Cooper--squandered on morally ambivalent themes, lazy direction and a ham-handed lead performance.

So Many Women, So Little Time: Up in the Air and Nine
Was I the only one offended by the sexual politics of both of these movies?

The Hangover Will Not Be Nominated for Best Picture
The whole buzz behind this movie still baffles me. How this film won a Golden Globe will puzzle me until the day I die.

Salò
I'm still scarred.

My Inner Monologue During Twilight Saga: New Moon
Opening night: "OMG TAYLOR LAUTNER IS SO SEXY"
Two weeks later: "WHY IS THIS FILM SO BORING?"

Were the World Mine
What a lazy piece of homophobic trash.

Performance Highlights
8 Great Things About Susan Hayward in I'll Cry Tomorrow
Easily dismissible by today's acting standards as a ham, Susan Hayward turns her usual mannerisms into one of the most psychotic looks at alcoholism ever portrayed.

Taraji P. Henson Can Do Amazing All By Herself
Ignore all the haters; Tyler Perry delivers his smoothest film to date while Taraji P. Henson proves that she's an actress to reckon with.

The Tween Subculture
Jonas With a Chance
My initial impressions of JONAS and Sonny With a Chance. An obsession builds.

Send It On. On and On.
An interpretation of the behind the scenes drama on the music video for Disney's global warming anthem 'Send It On.'

"Soooo Chad. I Need a Favor"
Is Chad Dylan Cooper the greatest actor of his generation?

Le Music
Here Come the Girls
Six music videos from both old pros (Britney!) and newcomers (Demi!)

Albums of the 2000's: Britney Spears Blackout
I haven't gotten around to writing another installment of this series (damn me for not being a music writer) but I hope you enjoyed this ode to THE best album of the past decade.

The Boys!
Lady GaGa Knows Her Stuff
The chrorus to 'Boys Boys Boys' is represented visually by yours truly. Your welcome.

Zac Efron & Les Auteurs
He wants to work with some challenging directors. Here's what I imagine his projects with various auteurs would look like.

Imaginary Boyfriends of 2009
You loved my 2008 edition and, lo and behold, you also appreciated 2009's roster. Includes Sterling Knight, Kris Allen and Chad White.

My New Favorite Gays
Kings and The United States of Tara introduced us to two gay characters I would kill to see more of in the movies and on TV: the manipulative and scheming villain and the quiet, classic film-loving cutey.

Lists
25 Best Performances of the TV Season
Truth: I actually kind of don't like this post. I think my writing is atrocious. But, nonetheless, you all went crazy for it and commented on it more than any other post this year. Thank you!

My Top 10 Ideal Action Stars
What would happen if Miley Cyrus and Victoria Beckham were cast in stupid action blockbusters?

22 Reasons to Celebrate Zac Efron's 22nd Birthday
An ode to my future husband on his birthday.

Assorted Goodies
People Who Can Suck It: Gwyneth Paltrow and Megan Fox
These two are both twatbags for completely different reasons.

Casting The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
My new favorite book was, at one point, slated to be made into a movie. Here's who I want to be cast (In retrospect, however, I would completely trade out Kellan Lutz as Tracy for, as someone randomly suggested, Chris Pine).

The Ladies of 2009
The female counterpart to the Imaginary Boyfriends. These six women made 2009 a year to remember.

Faye Dunaway vs. Hilary Duff
The Duffster tries to throwdown with the one and only Faye motherfucking Dunaway. Guess whose side I'm on.

Things I Learned at the 2008 Oscars
RDJ is hot, Zac wants to have sex with Dev Patel and Beyoncé is a motherfucking DIVA.

I Am Terrified for the Future of Filmmaking
If all directors of the future are as retarded as the ones in my film class this past semester, I mourn the loss of the medium.

My New Favorite Celebrity Couple
You can keep your Brangelinas--Meestan is the celebrity couple I can truly get behind.

A Secret Prom?

Sonny: Prom's off everybody.


Tawni: What?! I've been dreaming about being prom queen ever since you brought it up 18 minutes ago!

Sonny: I'm sorry. I tried. I even used the magic word.

Grady: This is just like the puppet show all over again.

Sonny: Guys, nobody's more disappointed than I am.

Nico: You had to ask Marshall.

Zora: Always gotta do everything by the book.

Sonny: Oh yeah, is that what you think? Is that what you all think?

*Everyone nods in agreement*


Sonny: Well, I just checked out a new book. And it's called We're Having a Secret Prom by Sonny Munroe.

Nico: Are you suggesting...

Sonny: Yes, that's right. A secret prom.


Tawni: A secret prom?

Zora: A secret prom?


Nico: A secret prom?

Grady: A secret-

Sonny: Okay, I think we've said it enough times. We're having a secret prom!

Grady: How come you got to say it again?

Sonny: Because I wrote the book.


Tawni: I thought you checked out the book.

Grady: Wait, I'm confused.

Sonny: Okay there's no book, but we're having a prom.

Nico: Wait, a secret prom?

Sonny: *exasperated* Yes. Are we all on the same page?

Grady: Whoa, wait, there's a page?


Sonny: Really?

Who is Christopher Wilde?

The teaser trailer for the latest Disney Channel Original Movie, Starstruck, made its way online last night and, for once, I'm super excited. Why, you ask? Well it's not because of the plot, which sounds like a corny and predictable version of Sonny With a Chance (girl from the Midwest ends up in Hollywood trying to pursue her musical dreams and falls in love with the most popular singer in the country). From that description alone, I feel like I've seen this movie 1400 times before. The teaser, however, gives me a little hope that Starstruck may be a tad more clever than your average DCOM (hopefully they got some SWAC writers to work on the screenplay). What I'm looking forward to and, consequently, has me so excited for the film is the cast which includes SWAC veteran Brandon Smith and Chelsea motherfucking Staub, supreme JONAS goddess and all-around star-in-the-making (I had no idea she was in the cast and nearly did the gay inhale when she popped up and said, "People call us the It couple" in that hilariously phony, dumb heiress tone). And then there's the crown jewel, the one, the only, the should-be King of Disney Chad Dylan Sterling Knight! If you are loyal readers of the site, you know of my immense love for this man, the greatest actor of his generation. His role in Starstruck sounds vaguely similar to Chad Dylan Cooper although, unfortunately, probably less douchey and less fun since he won't have Demi Lovato's wonderful Sonny to verbally spar or create lovely sexual tension with. Oh well. I am all for more Sterling Knight in my life and eternally thankful he gets to headline one of these things instead of one of the male loser from Hannah Montana (Which one? Take your pick, they all suck).

"All I hear from that is, 'Chad, you're so super blah blah blah blah.'"

Golden Globe FYC's: Television

In just under a month, the Golden Globe nominations are going to be announced. Say what you want about them, but I love the way they cater to mega stars and nominate some out-there movies and TV shows the more serious Oscars and Emmys wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. And in that spirit, I wanted to point any members of the Hollywood Foreign Press who may have wandered onto my site to some underappreciated and unknown TV shows and performances from the past year. So, without further ado,

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

Best TV Show (Musical/Comedy)

Best Actor (Musical/Comedy): Joel McHale
Best Supporting Actress: Yvette Nicole Brown

Not everyone is in love with this show and I can accept that. The show's scattershot, smartass humor is a bit hit or miss, but when it hits, damn it is funny. Joel McHale, host of The Soup, is my boo so it should come as no surprise I love him on this show. The show's other highlight is Shirley, played by Yvette Nicole Brown. She's warm, generous and often hilarious with admittedly little to do sometimes. Hell, she can make silence funny.

Best Supporting Actress: Jane Lynch

The show is wildly inconsistent for me. Jane Lynch, however, is always spot on and often has me howling in laughter with her non-sensical metaphors and "Sue Says" TV spot. It's no wonder that Sue Sylvester is quickly replacing Chuck Norris as the ultimate tough guy.

Best Actress (Drama): Leighton Meester

This season so far has been a bit of a wash for Ms. Meester although things seem to be looking up for her (I loved the way she stood back and simply observed the aftermath of the "OM3"; she was far more interesting than any of the participants). My FYC is for, of course, her stellar work from the second half of last season. Do I really have to try and convince you again of her amazingness?

Best Supporting Actress: Chelsea Staub
Best Supporting Actress: Nicole Anderson

The Jonas Brothers may be the "stars" of JONAS, but the true discoveries are the main females of the show. Staub plays the band's stylist and shoulder to cry on about their various problems with an unusual combination of warmness and ferocious comedic timing unseen on any Disney show I've ever seen. Anderson is the band's obsessive fan who has slowly become my favorite reason to watch the show.

Best TV Show (Drama)
Best Supporting Actor: Sebastian Stan

This show never really had a chance on network TV, did it? Ambitious, layered and epic in scope, Kings was doomed from the start. But in its short 13 episode run, Kings had more impressive moments than some shows have had in three seasons. Ian McShane, with his booming voice and larger than life bravura, was great as the king, but I often found Sebastian Stan as doomed Prince Jack to be even more compelling throughout the show. In just a few episodes, the one-time Ed Westwick imitator became an actor to watch for in the future.

Best TV Show (Musical/Comedy)
Best Actress (Musical/Comedy): Demi Lovato
Best Supporting Actor: Sterling Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Tiffany Thornton

Who said that Disney was only for kids? One of the best shows on TV right now is on the Disney Channel and I'm not ashamed to admit that I watch it religiously. Sonny With a Chance is 30 Rock for the tweens and it's often just as groundbreaking and can't-catch-your-breath funny (when compared to its contemporaries, at least). Leading the cast is Demi Lovato as Sonny, the Liz Lemon of the show, and what's exciting about her performance is that over the course of the season, you can see her letting loose more and more, finally getting the hang of this comedy thing and truly becoming a star with each passing episode. Tiffany Thornton, plays self-obsessed diva Tawni Hart, the Jenna to Demi's Liz, and is a hoot everytime she appears on screen. Do you know anyone else who can elicit so many laughs just by repeating "Cocoa Mocho Cocoa" over and over again? And then there is trusty old Sterling Knight as tween heartthrob Chad Dylan Cooper (swoon!). His role as the romantic foil to Demi's Sonny is not particularly groundbreaking but the way he remains a complete douche even during the moments when he's supposed to be "wooing" Sonny is impressive. Less talented, "pretty boy" actors would have completely pussified CDC by episode four, but Knight is just as mean and darkly funny as he was on day one. Kudos to you!

Best TV Show (Musical/Comedy)
Best Supporting Actor: Keir Gilchrist
Best Supporting Actress: Brie Larson

Toni Collette is likely to get a nom, so it seems unnecessary to FYC her right now. Instead, I'll focus on the underappreciated children of Tara. Like I've talked about before, Gilchrist brings a clever twist to a stereotypical gay teen role. Larson is a complete bitch on the show, but she somehow brings enough humanity to her performance that I kinda wish she was my older sister.