Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I've Been a Bad, Bad Gyllenhaalic

I know you've probably been thinking the last couple of month that I've abandoned my beloved Jakey for Zac Efron since I post about him nearly every week, but, rest assured, I haven't. It's just that- and I really hate to admit this- Jakey hasn't done anything interesting in months while Zac has been itching to show his penis, getting cozy with La Tisdale, looking eerily similar to Leonard Whiting and cavorting in a dirty three way with La Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens. Besides, do you really want to see 100 pictures of him looking like this...?

AAAARRGHHHH! Oh sweet Jesus, make that hair go away! It's freaking me the fuck out! Holy Lord, I'm hyperventilating. In. Out. In. Out...

Whew. Thank God. Now that's the Jakey I love best. Please stop playing around in the desert and go back to making regular films that aren't based off of video games. That's when I'll start posting more about you, my dear Jakey.

1 comment:

J.D. said...

I knoooooow. I'm not as out as I could/should be, but I really am a major Gyllenhaalic, and I have been for like, three years. He hasn't come up enough in positive terms for me to say so lately. Ugh, this Prince of Persia stage is definitely our Dark Ages. But - BUT - that apt comparison means there must be a Jake Renaissance coming soon...!!!

Oh, please, let there be a Jake Renaissance soon... *pleads to every deity ever*