La Tisdale's New Single Cover, or: Do We Need a Campaign for a Grammy Nomination Now?

"It's Alright, It's OK" is the first single off La Tisdale's follow-up to Headstrong called Guilty Pleasure (clever name, although there's nothing guilty about her). No word yet on an exact release date of either the single or the album, although I'm assuming it's soon because the album has a tentative "Spring" release date. Quite obviously, I can not WAIT for this to come out. No matter how bad that first album was- and let me tell you that as much as I worship La Tisdale, it's a stinker- "He Said She Said" is still the perfect pop single and I'm hoping that Guilty Pleasure has a bunch of songs in this sassy, nearly dirty vein.

American Idol Recap: Top 13

Theme: Michael Jackson

For the sake of trying something new, I decided to organize this week's performances in different categories each named after a certain Paula-ism that I'm sure any American Idol fan is well acquainted with.

"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic

Allison Iraheta "Give in to Me" The best performance of the night, in my humble opinion. She totally transformed the song to the point that I never would have guessed in a million years Michael Jackson sang it originally. Does AI finally have their first legitimate rocker chick? It's looking good for her.

Kris Allen "Remember the Time" Yay! I'm so glad "Man in the Mirror" wasn't a total fluke and Kris got the chance to show us what he's really made of. Excellent song choice and quite a nice performance. This kid is going places.

Alexis Grace "Dirty Diana" Did she oversing? Maybe, but it was nowhere near as bad as Adam Lambert (more on him later). Like Allison, by the end of the song, I barely recognized it as a Michael Jackson song. I'm still not sure why the judges weren't crazy about it.

Paula Clap
Quite good

Matt Giraud "Human Nature" I feel an obligation to represent my city (K-zoo!), even when he was bad ("Viva la Vida" anyone?) but this was actually an excellent performance that reminded us why we loved him during Hollywood Week..

Lil Rounds "The Way You Make Me Feel" She hasn't blown me away yet (she's more of a LaKisha then a Melinda Doolittle in that respect) but she's totally on the verge of doing it. With the right song, Lil could completely dominate this season methinks.

Megan Joy Corkrey "Rockin' Robin" I admit that I love the silliness of the song choice and I think she did a lot more with it than she really had to. I'm still not completely sold on her, but this performance is edging me closer to her side.

Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet

Anoop "Beat It" In theory, this sounds like the perfect song for the loveable, crowd-pleasing Anoop, but something was missing last night. The song sounded like ordinary karaoke anyone could have done while slightly drunk at the bar. I haven't given up on him yet, but I'm starting to think that maybe "My Prerogative" was a fluke.

Adam Lambert "Black and White" Just shut up already! I have had it up to here with your incessant shrieking that you call singing and your over-the-top theatrics.

Danny Gokey "Pretty Young Thing (P.Y.T.)" You too! Please just crawl in a hole and go far, far away from AI land. We get it, your wife died- you're still not as great as people (and you) think you are.

"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this

Michael Sarver "You Are Not Alone" Totally forgettable. It hasn't even been 24 hours yet and I really can't remember anything about this performance. He seems like a nice guy, but the talent is just not there.

Jasmine Murray "I'll Be There" Newsflash: Mariah Carey did a version of this song in 1993. This means that no singer who could be considered an R&B "diva" should ever touch this song. You will never even come close.

Jorge Nunez "Never Can Say Goodbye" I have no idea what anyone could possibly see in this guy. His singing is mediocre at best, he doesn't look like a superstar and he seems about as relevant as Enrique Iglesias. Oh wait, he cried on camera so that makes him a good guy. Excuse me while I barf.

Scott MacIntyre "Some Inspiration Dreck Because That's All He Can Sing" I hate to sound insensitive (wait, that's a lie), but this isn't American Idol: Special Olympics Edition. It's great that he's overcome adversity to achieve his dream blah blah blah, but that still doesn't mean he's a great singer. If he could actually see, Scott never would have made it out of the Top 36 (if he even got that far). America, sometimes you need to get over the sob story and start voting for people because of their talent (a novel idea, I know).

Who Should Go Home: Jorge and Scott
Who is Going Home: Jasmine and Megan (it could also be Jorge, but I have a feeling America hasn't quite warmed up to her yet...maybe it's because she didn't cry onstage)

Am I Crazy or Falling in Love?

I hate to step on Vera's turf, especially since she does it so well, but I just had to profile this model I discovered the other day and have been crushing on ever since. His name is Chad White and he's been modeling for a couple of years. He was all set to join the Navy but those plans were abandoned when he was discovered and signed by Model Management in 2005. Oh well, the Navy's loss is our gain. I was first drawn to him because of his (very) slight resemblance to Channing Tatum during his model days, but what I find the sexiest about him is that he seems to be approachable in ways that many male models aren't. Just look at his completely charming smile in a couple of these photos? Doesn't it just melt your heart?

Besides, any person whom J. Hud deems worthy enough to take a photo with is alright by me.

Chad White, you're an okay petunia.

The Most Beautiful Song I've Ever Heard

I was already a huge fan of Leona Lewis (she did make my favorite song of 2008) but her version of Snow Patrol's "Run" takes that love to a whole new level. I started listening to it obsessively about a month ago- something about Leona's vocals totally cast an unbreakable spell upon me to the point where I have to listen to all of her songs on repeat for hours- but it wasn't until a couple of days ago that I realized just how beautiful it is. "Run" is so beautiful that I honestly believe that if I was in the right state of mind, it could actually bring me to tears (and no song has ever done that for me). It also never fails to amaze me that she turned a not bad indie rock ballad into a pop power anthem on par with Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" or Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You." Is it too soon to call "Run" my favorite song of 2009?

Silence is Golden

If you head on over to the Diva's Film Screenings page, you'll see a brand new film log for the Silent Era. I decided to lump all of the films between the beginnings of cinema and 1926 for two reasons: 1) I've only seen 57 films (from what I can remember) from this period and who wants to look at a page with 2 or 3 movies on it and 2) So many films from the silent era are either lost, damaged beyond repair or unavailable on DVD that it would be nearly impossible for me to gather an interesting year by year look (at this moment anyways). I absolutely love silent movies; if there's one "genre" that needs a revival in the 21st century, it has to be this. Wouldn't you just love to see what directors like Alexander Payne, Fernando Meirelles, David Lynch or (oddly) Woody Allen could do without dialogue? And who would object to the beauty of movie goddesses like Nicole Kidman, Dame Judi Dench, Meryl Streep and Natalie Portman perfectly enhanced by the power of a stunning close-up by a great cinematographer?

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think that my Top 10 list is an unarguably great one from the films I have seen (I realize I'm still missing some biggies from this period...tell me what I need to see immediately in the comments). Silent comedy legend Buster Keaton makes three appearances with two masterpieces (the metaphysical Sherlock, Jr. and the adventure comedy The Navigator) and one underrated "regular" film (the boxing comedy Battling Butler). In my mind, Keaton and Charlie Chaplin (who has one film- The Gold Rush- in the Top 10 and two just outside) are indisputably the icons of this era. Without them, I don't know if I ever would have gotten interested in silent films and, consequently, I would have missed out on one of the most unique and fascinating times in movie history.

As an added bonus, I included my 10 favorite short films (which I think I need to do more research on since Chaplin and Keaton make up half of the list) and my favorite male and female performances of the era. I didn't pick a favorite, but if I had to, I think I would go with:

John Gilbert in The Big Parade and Lillian Gish (pictured with, coincidentally, John Gilbert) in La Boheme

The Big Parade was silent heartthrob John Gilbert's breakthrough and, as often as he tried in the future, none of his other performances ever came close to matching this one. He plays the romantic lead of this WWI epic, but unlike the cold, "masculine" romantic leads he played later on in his career, he's warm, inviting, charming and incredibly sweet. His performance is something we very rarely, if ever, saw in the silent era and one that more people need to see to prove that he wasn't just another pretty face. Lillian Gish, a D.W. Griffith favorite back in the day, was always at the top of her game and La Boheme is just one of her many fantastic performances. What stands out for me is that final deathbed scene where she looks as close to death as I've ever seen any actor in any film (and with good reason- she apparently starved her self for days to look that way...I guess she was the silent era's version of Christian Bale).

As always, here's a poll so I can hear your feedback about my picks. Plus, if you have any suggestions on films or actors I need to see, let me know in the comments.

Online Surveys & Market Research

RIP The Golden Girls on Lifetime

After 12 years of laughter, friendship, bickering, cheesecake and consistently high ratings for a 20-year old show in reruns, The Golden Girls has left Lifetime for the Hallmark Channel. Since I don't get the Hallmark Channel at school, this is sad news because this means I won't be able to listen to my girls in the background while I'm getting ready for classes in the morning (I realize that I could just pop in one of my DVD's- I own all seven seasons- but it just isn't the same). On a more sentimental level, however, this is devastating. Watching these reruns on Lifetime all throughout junior high and high school and into my first couple of years in college, over and over again until I could quote verbatim certain chunks of dialogue has definitely made me into the person that I am today. Whether or not this a good thing can be left for discussion on another day, but, the point is, watching this show on Lifetime has become a tradition and it's sad to see it end. I wish Dorothy, Sophia, Rose and Blanche luck over on the Hallmark Channel and I hope that there are other teens out there who were as lucky as I was in discovering this show.

Short Rants on Gaby- A True Story

In all honesty, there were only two reasons why I decided to sit down and watch Gaby- A True Story (Luis Mandoki, 1987). The first was, obviously, for Norma Aleandro's Best Supporting Actress nomination (since I have an irrational need to see all of the major nominees I can get my hands on). Secondly, I wanted to see what Bergman-favorite Liv Ullmann was doing in a film with a plot straight out of an 80's, made-for-TV movie of the week: a child, Gaby, is born with cerebral palsy so severe she can't speak and only has mobility in her left foot and, with the help of her supportive parents and a silent but dedicated nurse, she overcomes adversity by working her way through college. It's exactly the type of disposable, handicapped-people-are-human-beings-too film the Academy ate up in the 80's, but what sets it apart from something like Children of a Lesser God is that they're is actual artistry and style in the filmmaking technique instead of relying of cheap melodrama and "inspirational" breakthrough moments. Thanks to cinematographer Lajos Koltai's bleak, cold, almost impenetrable camerawork, the film feels closer to Ingmar Bergman than anything you would see done on a Lifetime movie. There's also a sex scene in the movie that could have been gratuitous in the extreme, but, with Koltai's camera, manages to look beautiful and, dare I say it, tasteful (well, as tasteful as seeing two teens with cerebral palsy going at it while flopping around on the floor like fish on dry land can be). The acting all around wasn't nearly as atrocious as it could have been. Liv Ullmann, in particular, rises above the material and clichés of the fighting mother stereotype we've come to expect from films like this. Then again, would you expect anything less from the same woman who did Cries and Whispers and Persona? Norma Aleandro was quite good as well. She may have spent just a tad too much time staring off into the distance at just the right angle for the camera to catch her expression, but that face is fascinating to look at so I can't really begrudge her that. B-

P.S. Throughout the movie, I kept wondering where I had seen Rachel Levin, the woman who played Gaby, before and after a quick search on IMDb, I discovered that under the name Rachel Chagall, she was Val on The Nanny:

Oh my God, I used to love that show when I was a kid. Hell, I still do. Who knew that the same woman who played the featherbrained Val opposite Fran Drescher was also in a movie with Liv Ullmann? That blows my mind.

Eh Eh [Nothing Else I Can Say]

My Jakey + Baseball (i.e., the hottest sport, in my opinion) - Shirt - Gross Long Hair = Perfection

YOU'RE BACK, BABY!

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Lily Van der Woodsen

The reports are coming in and it looks like the lovely and talented Brittany Snow is making her return to television, after her breakthrough in NBC's American Dreams a few years ago, in the upcoming Gossip Girl spin-off. The shows follows Rufus and Lily, the adults on Gossip Girl, during their teenage years and is set to premiere on May 11th as a special Gossip Girl episode. I can't even begin to put into words how excited I am at the prospect of seeing Brittany every week. And did I mention that the show is set during the 80's? Can you imagine how glammed out Brittany is going to look with teased hair, ill-fitting jackets, too much makeup and leg warmers? Oh my God, she is going to be fabulous.

Kathy Griffin is a Mad Genius

With her hilarious cameo on last night's season finale of Privileged, Kathy Griffin has pretty much secured herself an Emmy nomination for Best Guest Star (Comedy). This just proves that she's always thinking of ways to get awards. Way to go, diva!

Things We Learned at This Year's Oscars

At 45, Robert Downey, Jr. is still smoking hot. Whenever he came on screen during the red carpet stuff, I literally had to stop what I was doing because he had me swooning that much. Oh dear, the things I would do to that man.




Zac Efron has a crush on Dev Patel (Come on, don't give me that look! Of all the big names at the Oscars, why would you be most excited to meet Dev Patel unless you had the hots for him- and you can't really blame Zac because Dev sure knows how to wear a tuxedo). Can you imagine what a power couple they would be?



Clever musical sequences work just as well as an opening monologue, especially when you have Hugh Jackman performing them.


Anne Hathaway really knows how to work a musical number (I absolutely loved her big dramatic pause on the Nixon peace sign).


Tina Fey and Steve Martin should present every award ever.


Dustin Lance Black is a total hottie. Way to represent our people!


The old folks can put away their pitchforks and relax because the supposed "Disney-fying" of the Oscars didn't happen. All you had to endure was Robert Pattinson presenting one award and a five second close-up of Troy and Gabriella Zac and Vanessa during the second musical sequence. The rest was filled with pure movie star mojo. (We can all be thankful, however, that neither Miley or the Brothers Jonas had the opportunity to take the stage).

Speaking of that batshit, cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs crazy number:



Baz Luhrmann may be totally insane.


BEYONCE is a true diva. Were there any other performers on that stage? If there were, I sure didn't notice because BEYONCE completely dominated those five minutes. Her vocals, stage presence and diva moves (her hands on her hip during "Lady Marmalade", her "coy" smile during "At Last", the very end with "Somewhere Over the Rainbow") all combined for one hell of a performance.


The phrase "Academy Award-winner Penélope Cruz" has quite a lovely ring to it.


As does "Academy Award-winner Kate Winslet" (never mind that it's for the wrong performance).


Change can be good. At first I thought I would hate the fact that they weren't showing clips of the nominated performance, but by the time Best Actress came around and Shirley MacLaine, Halle Berry, Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman and SOPHIA LOREN (nearly tying BEYONCE in terms of true diva-ness) came out on stage, I realized this radical change may be for the better.


The fact that seeing one of the shittiest films nominated for Best Picture in the past decade sweeping the awards didn't ruin the whole show for me.

So, to sum it up: Great fucking show! It went three and a half hours but I wasn't bored for a minute. Bill Condon deserves a retroactive Best Director nomination for Dreamgirls for turning around the ceremony this year. Bravo!

The Worst Films and Performances of 2008

With the Oscars less than ten minutes away, I thought it was appropriate to honor the worst of the year before we spend all night talking about the best. Of the 86 films I've seen so far in 2008, here are the stinkiest films and performances.

The 10 Worst Films:

10. Tell No One (Guillaume Canet)
This so-called "Hitchcockian" thriller has none of the humor, interesting plot twists or thrilling, ambiguous villains that comprised some of Hitch's best work. Instead, all we get are some dumb clichés, an annoying lead and a 10 minute explanation of the whole film that is entirely false.
9. Frost/Nixon (Ron Howard)
What a complete waste of time. Ron, just because you have a good play and actors who have done these roles 100 times before doesn't mean you can just sit back and let the cameras roll for two hours.
8. 21 (Robert Luketic)
I knew the exact trajectory of the main character (played her by Jim Sturgess) from the first five minutes. The rest of the film didn't make me want to stick around.
7. Changeling (Clint Eastwood)
On the plus side, Changeling gives you more for your dollar (always a good thing during this recession) since there are six separate stories packed into one film. On the negative side, none of them are any good.
6. Mamma Mia! (Phyllida Lloyd)
I believe I've already said enough on this movie in the above review, so I'll leave you with a thought from my friend Christi, "ABBA should sue them for ruining their songs." She is so right.
5. Untraceable (Gregory Hoblit)
Diane Lane, you deserve much better than this lame "thriller" that was nothing more than a complete waste of time. I seriously can't remember a thing about this movie besides Lane and Joseph Cross.
4. Jumper (Doug Liman)
Jamie Bell and Rachel Bilson, you both deserve much better than this lame "action" movie and playing second fiddle to the incomparably bad Hayden Christensen.
3. Camp Rock (Matthew Diamond)
I honestly wasn't expecting much from Disney's latest made-for-TV movie, but this was so bad it made High School Musical look like Chicago. As I mentioned in the review, Vanessa Hudgens could have showed up and I would have been grateful for it.
2. Prom Night (Nelson McCormick)
One of the funniest movies of the year. Too bad it was supposed to be a horror movie.
1. The Wackness (Jonathan Levine)
I've racked my brain for awhile and I honestly can not think of one even slightly redeeming factor in this movie. Of the other movies I gave an F to, Camp Rock at least had those slightly amusing bickering scenes between Nick and Kevin and Prom Night had Brittany Snow and a couple of good laughs, but The Wackness has absolutely nothing. The overly quirky and "street" dialogue assaulted my ears like the Blitzkrieg, Ben Kingsley's overacting made me want to die everytime he tried to be hip and funny and the film's depiction of a teenager's sexual awakening was both overly pretentious and boorish.

The Worst Performances:

Worst Actor
Hayden Christensen, Jumper
---How do you make me hate you from the opening monologue?
Joe Jonas, Camp Rock
---You would think that as soon as they filmed that first scene in the limosine, where Joe can't even put the right emphasis on any of the lines, that the producers would have realized they picked the wrong Jonas Brother to star in this film.
Robert Pattinson, Twilight
---I will give him the benefit of the doubt on some of the dialogue because he was given some truly awful, but some of those facial expressions (especially during the scene where he first meets Bella in the science classroom) were hilarious when they should have been serious and/or scary.

The Loser:
Hayden Christensen

Worst Actress
Vanessa Hudgens, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
---You would think that after three films with the same character, she would finally learn how to not embarrass herself; you thought wrong. This is just as atrocious as anything in the first two films.
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
---An Oscar nomination for this phoned-in performance?! That is, if you call repeating the same three lines (all containing the phrase "MY son" in them) over and over again and smashing a plate against the wall.
Meryl Streep, Mamma Mia!
---The worst performance I've ever seen from the great Meryl. I've never seen her overact that much.

The Loser:
Meryl Streep

Worst Supporting Actor
Pierce Brosnan, Mamma Mia!
---Normally, when you cast a musical, you cast someone who can sing. Apparently someone missed this memo.
Colin Firth, Then She Found Me
---Not necessarily bad, but he's in a completely different film from Helen, Bette and Matthew.
Ben Kingsley, The Wackness
---This guy has an Oscar? What the hell?
Diego Luna, Milk
---He stands out among the cast. Unfortunately, it's not in a good way.
T.J. Miller, Cloverfield
---Shut the fuck up already and get eaten by that monster.

The Loser:
Ben Kingsley

Worst Supporting Actress
Malin Akerman, 27 Dresses
---Akerman was given a prime role (bitchy, whiny younger sister) in this slightly above average rom com and she completely ruins it. Over the top and just plain annoying.
Monique Coleman, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
---I never noticed before HSM3, but Coleman is quite an awful actress, isn't she? She only has a couple of lines and yet she completely butchers all of them.
Meghan Jette Martin, Camp Rock
---Also given a prime role (the "Regina George" of Camp Rock) and completely ruins. Makes all the wrong choices comedically and her "crying" scene is atrocious.
Thandie Newton, W.
---It's so out there and different from the rest of the ensemble that I'm not sure if it's the worst performance I've ever seen or a whole new way of acting being born.
Dame Julie Walters, Mamma Mia!
---Oh my God, the Wicked Witch of the West has come back to life! Run for your life! Argh, that cackle will haunt my dreams forever!

The Loser:
Dame Julie Walters

The 2008 Supporting Actress Smackdown

It's here, people! StinkyLulu has once again rounded up some of the finest writers on the blogosphere (plus moi) for the annual Smackdown on the morning of the Oscars. As always, I had a ton of fun offering my opinions and reading what the other participants had to say (even when we completely disagreed). The overall winner should come as no surprise, given how popular she has remained throughout the entire Oscar season, but I was pleasantly surprised to see all the love for Marisa Tomei, who was quite excellent in The Wrestler.

She's a hooker with a heart of gold AND she gives an excellent performance. How often does this happen?

So head over there to read the panel's opinions and send lots of towards Lulu for tirelessly keeping up with this project.

Anarchy Archuleta in the U.K.

Back on Monday, Popjustice, the final word on all things pop music, picked "Crush" for their coveted Song of the Day (the song doesn't get released until next week in the U.K., hence it being "brand new" and in need of discovery to the primarily British readership). And, as if that wasn't exciting enough, Popjustice wrote a whole blog post about little Davie! A whole blog post! That's something usually reserved for the biggies: Girls Aloud, Sugababes and the Pet Shop Boys. Not only does Popjustice call "Crush" an "undeniably clever, complex song" but they also call his debut album "surprisingly good."

Oh my God, I can't believe it I just read that. POPJUSTICE JUST CALLED DAVID ARCHULETA'S ALBUM SURPRISINGLY GOOD! Suck on that, David Cook.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Popjustice's scale of goodness, "surprisingly good" is just one or two notches below "quite good" which is just below "brilliant," usually reserved for masterpieces like Girls Aloud's Out of Control. So, basically, this is a ringing endorsement from people who really know their pop music (Maybe I need to re-listen to this album because I generally thought that, "Crush" aside, it was pretty stinky?).

Congratulations Davie! Getting an endoresement from Popjustice means you're already on your way to conquering the U.K.!

Dame James' Final Oscar Predictions

Wow, what a rollercoaster ride this Oscar season has been. I've gone from being giddy with anticipation to bored out of my mind so many times this year, I can't even keep track. Right now, I'm sort of in the middle- disappointed, but excited for the ceremony on Sunday (especially with that rumored, batshit crazy musical sequence produced by Baz Luhrmann and including Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper) even if it ends up being a complete trainwreck. In all honesty, I'm ready to move on from 2008's disappointing crop of nominees and get going with 2009 (which I started yesterday). So, in order to get going with that, here are my final Oscar predictions.

Best Picture
Will Win: Sadly, it seems that it is written that Slumdog Millionaire will pick up this award.
Should Win: Since it's the only nominee that didn't prove a meh response from me or made me throw my hands in the air in exasperation, I'm going to go with Milk. Not a perfect film, but there's no way I can poo-poo on the nomination (especially in comparison with these others nominees).

Best Actor
Will Win: It's going to be a nailbiter between Rourke and Penn, but I'm going with Mickey Rourke because he has the comeback factor and he's been on his best behavior on the awards circuit, providing heartfelt speeches at every main precursor he's won at (Penn would have a better chance but he just won and I don't his competition is weak enough to warrant a second win this year)
Should Win: Mickey Rourke, although both Richard Jenkins and Penn are worthy in their own right.

Best Actress
Will Win: I hate to jinx her, but it seems like the stars have finally aligned for Kate Winslet.
Should Win: As of this point, Anne Hathaway, without a doubt, but I still need to catch up with Melissa Leo.

Best Supporting Actor
Will Win: Even Helen Keller would have predicted Heath Ledger.
Should Win: Obviously, Heath Ledger, but I wouldn't mind Josh Brolin, Robert Downey, Jr. or Michael Shannon picking this up in a major upset. This is quite literally the best Best Supporting Actor line up in a decade, at least.

Best Supporting Actress
Will Win: I keep hearing these rumors about a Viola Davis win here, yet I don't quite buy it. Penélope Cruz looks like a stronger bet and the one performance a lot of people can get behind.
Should Win: Penélope Cruz is the crazy, eccentric soul of Vicky Cristina Barcelona. She deserves five Oscars for giving this strong of a performance in such a weak film.

Best Director
Will Win: Danny Boyle has this in the bag.
Should Win: I guess Gus Van Sant although the direction is hardly the most interesting thing in Milk.

Best Original Screenplay
Will Win: My guess is that Milk has to win somewhere and this category seems the most likely since it isn't up against Slumdog Millionaire.
Should Win: In Bruges is the most original, intricate and fascinating piece of writing this year.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire, for dashing any hopes of dramatic tension and being so "uplifting"
Should Win: None of these screenplays are remotely deserving of any attention, so I'll go with the least bad: The Reader

Best Cinematography
Will Win: Look at the pretty colors of Slumdog Millionaire!
Should Win: The Dark Knight is the best of the nominees, but there were at least three other movies with more interesting camerawork.

Best Editing
Will Win: Are you as bored with this Slumdog Millionaire sweep as I am?
Should Win: The integration of archival footage into the narrative in Milk was absolutely seamless.

Best Art Direction
Will Win: How can they vote against the ornate-ness of The Duchess' sets?
Should Win: The Dark Knight appropriately Gothic and dark sets were much more interesting than last year's winner Sweeney Todd.

Best Costume Design
Will Win: The Duchess is exactly the type of movie this category loves to honor. Boy do they love their corsets and hoop skirts.
Should Win: Nicole Kidman is the perfect life-size Barbie and always brings out the best in Catherine Martin (see: Moulin Rouge!). Australia is another perfect collaboration.

Best Makeup
Will Win: This just seems like the perfect award for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, no?
Should Win: The Dark Knight should win just for that inspired Joker makeup

Best Original Score
Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire seems unstoppable here and, for the record, this is the one win I can live with. The music is quite lively and energetic.
Should Win: But WALL-E actually had an original score and not "Jai Ho" and "Paper Planes" repeated a few times over and over again and is literally quite brilliant.

Best Original Song
Will Win: I really don't see a split happening here between the two Slumdog songs, so I'll go with the more popular one "Jai Ho"
Should Win: "Jai Ho", but the Pussycat Dolls version, not the original. That one is epic genius.

Best Sound
Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Should Win: WALL-E

Best Sound Editing
Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Should Win: WALL-E

Best Visual Effects
Will Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Should Win: I guess Benjamin Button, although I applaud The Dark Knight for not relying on a gimmick and delivering good, old-fashioned effects.

Best Animated Film
Will Win: WALL-E
Should Win: WALL-E, but I wouldn't be too upset with a Kung Fu Panda win.

Best Foreign Language Film
Will Win: Some think it's too obvious to win here since this category likes to throw surprises, but Waltz With Bashir seems like the Slumdog of this category at every award show.
Should Win: Haven't had the opportunity to see any of these nominees.

Best Documentary (Feature)
Will Win: Man on Wire is the critical darling of the documentary world
Should Win: Sadly, I haven't seen any of the nominees.

Best Documentary (Short)
Will Win: Smile Pinki is the perfect film for the Year of the Slumdog: a poor Indian slumchild with a cleft lip meets a social worker who gets her the surgery and is a "real world fairy tale" apparently told in a "vibrant style."
Should Win: N/A

Best Short (Animated)
Will Win: La Maison en petits cubes because they love picking random French stuff in this category
Should Win: I've only seen Presto, the short film that preceeded WALL-E, and that was quite worthy of this prize.

Best Short (Live Action)
Will Win: Spielzeugland is about the Holocaust. Game over.
Should Win: N/A